Stop Indian Hate!
Thailand led the way for the rest of the world in the new form of (South) Asian hate.
In the ever-expanding competition of who the most racist motherfuckers on planet Earth are, I’ve always wondered why the Thais aren’t thrown into the conversation more often. We’re not just talking about flat-out, blind racism. You know the kind: the people who refuse to eat curry because it’s cooked by Indians. Or, the hardcore racists I came to know during my time on Earth, such as the guys from Birmingham whose Friday night consisted of going out for a curry and then beating the crap out of the people that cooked the curry for them. They still paid though, so they told me.
I’m not talking about that kind of racism; I’m talking about old-school racial purity and superiority—racial supremacy! How delicious.
Racial supremacy, at least feels, is a very popular topic these days, and the Thais are incredibly self-assured when it comes to racial superiority—or is it national superiority? It’s probably a bit of both; the Thais believe everything they do is fucking amazing. They take pride in everything they do, whether done with precision or retardation, and one of those things is shitting on Indians.
Why do they shit on Indians, and why do they love it? Well, if you ask a Thai their opinion on Indians, they’ll say, “Oh, they smell!” Yes, that’s one of their top gripes, apparently: the Indians smell.
But the Thais are like a broken clock—they lie most of the time; the frugality of the Indians is what fuels the hate. This tickles my titter-buds; the thing I admire about them is the thing the Thais really hate about them most. The one thing the Thais love—when it comes to foreigners and their huge reliance on tourism—is money. Spend money, you filthy heathen foreign fuck!
This is why backpackers—who sit around their filthy hostels, sipping on water, playing card games with their stupid unwashed mitts—are probably worse than Indians in the eyes of Thais; these motherfuckers don’t spend a thing. With that said, it’s the Indians’ refusal to spend money, not their inability to spend money, that really pisses the Thais off. If you go into an Indian club in somewhere like Pattaya or Bangkok, you will notice the prices are incredibly high compared to other clubs. It’s not like they can’t afford it, and, besides, India is one of the biggest economies in the world right now. These motherfuckers aren’t exactly coming over on boats, trying to steal Thai people’s jobs—even if they were, it’d be bloody hard, because they’d be all like, “Is this even a real job? Can I even steal it?”
These are middle class and upper middle class Indians. They’ve got money. This place is cheap for them. So why aren’t they spending like big baller bosses? Because they’re frugal. Beautiful, frugal heathens.
I first witnessed the finesse of Indian frugalness on a Baht-bus in Pattaya. I boarded the bus and was greeted by around eight to ten Indian men and one small, quite scared-looking Thai lady.
She’d clearly been bar-fined from some grotty establishment and was accompanying these fine gentlemen to their hotel.
“Hey, what you boys up to then?” I enquired with my world-renowned charm.
“We’re going to our hotel!” one of them replied.
“Are you going to the hotel too?” I asked the little Thai lady.
“Yes!” she, with more glee than I anticipated, replied.
“Oh!”
And then it hit me: she’s getting shared! “Would you like to join us?” another one asked. Hell no, bro! I ain’t coming to your filthy hotel room gang bang for some sloppy ninths (or elevenths, depending on how many there actually were).
“No thanks, my good man,” I, possibly, replied.
Wow! This girl had agreed to do this, which, for one, was definite proof that the tourist economy was slowing down, and two, was definite proof these Indians don’t give a fuck—they just love bargains. They didn’t care about the disgusting ramifications that tag-teaming a Thai bar girl would have. No, no, no, no, no. All they saw was money, and all she saw was money; it was a beautiful exchange of ideas about, and the value of, money. Marvellous. I was disgusted and in awe all at the same time.
You wouldn’t catch me doing that, but you could probably convince me to do that based on the fact I just love being frugal. From that day on, I consistently witnessed the frugal behaviour of Indian men in Thailand, and I consistently saw the annoyance this caused—mostly amongst the ladies. You could walk down Beach Road of Pattaya—the prime spot for all the hookers across the world of all shapes and sizes come to ply their trade—on any given night and see Indian men bartering like they’re buying rugs.
“Hmm, so how much for this? What if I buy two of you? What if me and my friend share you? We have the same hotel room. Is it still the same one-hour price if we’re both boom-booming you?”
Often, I would stand or sit nearby and absorb everything they said and did, analysing the beauty of the art of the deal. Fantastic.
It was this type of behaviour that really pisses off the Thai girls when Indian men would approach the bars. Most other foreigners are going in there and getting rinsed for drinks until they’re so drunk they forget that they’ve spent too much money and their kids are starving back home. They don’t give a shit about this. They’ll buy all these ladies drinks and bar fine them and bang them for about five minutes until they throw up everywhere. This is standard procedure.
But the Indians are like, “Why the fuck am I going to do that? I don’t want to sit with this broad, talking to her in broken English and getting asked the same questions over and over again. ‘Where are you from? Where’s your hotel? How long are you on holiday? Is this your first time in Thailand?’ Why the hell do I want to put up with all that shit when I can just walk up and say, ‘Oi, that one, I’ll bang that one. How much?’” Now of course, for the Thai lady, this is no good, “Man must buy lady drink and have fun conversation before he take lady!” But the Indians are like, “Fuck that, what’s the point? I’m clearly here just to bang!” There are these weirdos who like to go there and have these conversations about absolutely fucking nothing, which is just ridiculous. I mean, sure, I’ve spent many times having fun and taking the piss out of people, but I’m an absolute lunatic. So why the fuck would you follow what I do? The Indians are just straight to the point: I’m clearly here for sex, so is everyone else. Why do we have to lie about it and pretend I’m here to have some lady drinks with you and enjoy ourselves?
And this pisses the Thai bar ‘professionals’ off; they don’t get their drink quotas up. They don’t get men spending money in the bar. They’re just getting dipped out on a transaction.
It seems we entered a new era of Asian hate post-COVID: it’s no longer aimed at East Asians; it’s heavily geared towards Indians! There’s so much content out there slagging off Indians: saying how disgusting and vile their country is, how their food gives you the shits, how they’re all gropey and shit like that. Give them a break.
Every country’s like that. I’ve had the shits in many countries. I’ve seen people groped in many countries. I’ve been in many different countries where people fucking stink. The only queer things I’ve found about the Indian men are their habit of walking along holding each other’s hands! Oh, and a couple of times when I’ve seen them slap each other’s dicks whilst sat opposite me on a bus. This is very odd behaviour. But all the frugalness? It’s alright. No! It’s more than alright; it’s bloody awesome. If you want to mock Indians, be my guest, but don’t be hating.
Quite often you bump into Indians in Thailand, and they’re always asking the same question: Where can we find the ladies? This is the funniest and most ridiculous thing I find about them. You could be standing in the middle of Pattaya—literally the world’s largest open-air sex market—and an Indian group will walk up to you and ask, “Where can I find some girls to have sex with?” What? You could just sit on the side of the road and get sucked off by accident. Are you fucking mental? You could go into a lawyer’s office, and the lawyer will probably bang you for commission. It’s one of the hardest places on earth to find non-transactional sex. Although it can be done. People who tell you that it can’t be done are complete idiots, but I digress too much. Indians are hilarious, but a source of racial vitriol? Just stop it.
This Indian hate goes far and beyond. I don’t know where it quite started, but I do know for a fact: when it comes to being racist towards and hating Indians like a default mode, the Thais are top of the pile; they really are leading the world in this new age of Indian hate.