Two-Tier Brainrot
Having a two-tier perspective has its advantages, but not when it's silly and doesn't make sense (that just causes unfixable problems)
The two-tier policing buzz-phrase isn’t dying into obscurity, it’s alive and well. But people don’t quite understand the power of two-tier mentality, whether they agree with it or not. It’s when it’s done without clear thought and it doesn’t make sense that everything falls apart. The great British revolt’s epilogue continues.
Having a two-tier attitude towards life can save lives. You’re walking late at night – what’s that you see? A large gathering of black youths in hoodies. Should you walk up and greet them, then ask what their grandmother’s best jollof rice recipe is? No. Don’t do that. That’s the behaviour of mugs. I’ve never cruised around New Cross on a match day and seen a marauding group of stella-swigging white boys, chanting “we’re Millwall, no-one likes us” and felt the urge to applaud the diversity, run over, join in with their cultural song and smile inside because I’m such a good, non-judgemental person. That’s also for mugs.
Exercising a clear mental filter based on stereotypes is what keeps us from the grave. You don’t put your hands in fire, you don’t antagonise a lion, and you don’t stick your tongue in a hot toaster.
There is always one rule for thee and another for ye. The Police know this, and, when done correctly, it works out just fine. It also works out just fine for those of us who choose not to be offended and pissed off by it, but exploit it. If you’re on the neurodivergent spectrum, it’s a bloody beautiful, bountiful gift. Those who lean into the autistic end of this spectrum get special cards – with a little instructions booklet – to carry around. When Police approach them for a random stop, they hand over this card and the Police have to read it.
“Do you understand why we have stopped you?”
“No!”
“Oh right, on you go then.”
That’s almost literally how it works.
That may piss you right off, but for me, that’s part of the game. We have to make certain allowances for certain people, otherwise we’re constantly fighting needless, losing battles (and life’s hard enough). Your racist gran, your sexist cousin, your neighbour with Tourette’s, disabled drivers who can park bloody anywhere they please because they’re armed with a Blue Badge.
If Police see a group of hooded youths in the ends, searching them is usually a good idea based on the law of averages. It makes sense. Some gangs are usually up to no good; this is why being selective can stop Police from wasting their time searching a gang of Girl Guides hanging around town (That’s a top tip for your drug running empire, by the way). What doesn’t work is when it doesn’t make sense.
When Police see one group of hooded Lithuanians and one group of hooded Tamils, why would they only choose to search the Lithuanians unless they had a reputation for criminality and violence? Two-tier policing is what Angela from Grimsby will be bashing into her smart phone keypad. Angela is most likely a moron, but she’s right. Most young men are up to some sort of criminality and violence, this is Britain for fuck sake. Do you think all the mothers of young black boys who’ve been stabbed and shot over the decades give a shit about targeting their precious little darlings on the streets for a quick stop and search?
Two-tiers can work when done right, but they’re so often done wrong.
One time I was listening to rantings of a young man who had been told to remove his hood whilst inside a shopping centre by security. He made a point to the security, “what if I was wearing a burka?” This is a valid point to a degree, aside from the fact he was in the group of 14-23 year-old males (the most likely to be naughty demographic in Britain). This gets lost on people. What also gets lost is that covering your face in a shop is also a strong red flag for criminality.
Allowing Muslim women to wear face coverings is a silly idea; unless your actively encouraging security guards and police to grab their crotch to make sure, you don’t really know who the fuck is under there. And, as mentioned before, exploiting the system is the gift we must use in our daily gratitude practice. There is nothing stopping anyone from exploiting the burka and niqab exemption. Hell, I use to work in a call centre as a young man where you were forbidden from using your mobile phone during working hours, except Muslim girls in full covering – they could get away with it because of their religiously-exempt disguise. These cultural and religious exemptions are – quite frankly my dear – silly. This is why Sikh men can walk around your neighbourhoods and high streets with actual-fucking-swords.
The Sikhs have always been a success story of integration in multicultural Britain. They rarely cause news-worthy problems, and they’re generally lovely. But they do legally carry swords. I always thought two-tier-type policing was for Muslims as they had such a reputation for being overly sensitive. It made sense. You don’t want to be picking on people – and allowing other groups to antagonise a group of humans – who have tendencies to behead people, blow up children, and shoot up crowds over amusing limericks, toilet graffiti, and memes found in builder’s WhatsApp group chats. But I was wrong about that.
Exemptions and two-tier policies are bloody everywhere, and it pisses people off. One group can cover their face, one group can have separate hospital wards to others, one group can carry murder weapons. I often feel I shouldn’t have to explain the problem with one particular group being allowed to carry a sword when all other groups can receive mandatory multiple-year sentences for the same practice – but apparently I do.
The general unwashed public must have had all critical thinking kicked and punched out of their bodies by the crumbing education system. They may say it’s about intent, but who knows or can prove intent half the time? I carried weapons due to fear. Some carry weapons to commit crime. Some just think it goes with their outfit. Do I feel safe seeing some who is clearly a Sikh carrying a sword as opposed to old Dave from Wetherspoons? I don’t like police being allowed guns that are illegal for us to even own. If you say “but that’s the police and…” Shut up. You too suffer from the crippling affliction of lack of thinking.
When the one rule of them and another for us is done due to reasons that don’t make sense, everything tears apart, and your average citizen refuses to even question it.
“Incest is disgusting, except for Pakistani Muslims because it’s their culture.”
“Telling women how to dress is coercive abuse, and should be a crime, except for that lot from the hot country because it’s part of their culture.”
And on it goes. Apparently as long as your culture demands it, it’s ok. Or is it? Do Filipino immigrants have kids at 12 like they do back home? Do you think the Ayoreo people of Paraguay would be allowed to practice their ancient tradition of infanticide if they relocated to Basildon? Would Indonesian Toraja people be allowed to dig up their dead relatives every three years and give them a makeover? If kissing your cousin gets you banged up, bang everyone up. If coercive abuse is telling your wife what to wear, bang them up. If carrying a knife or sword without a valid reason gets you 4 years in the slammer, bang them up. Just because your religion or culture says it’s a valid reason doesn’t fly in most countries, their people won’t put up with it and their governments agree. And that’s part of our problem.
The UK is so incredibly liberal when it comes to foreign cultures and yet so incredibly socially conservative when it comes to their own – and we’re also condescending tossers.
“It’s fine for a savage from a nutter country to kiss their underage cousin as they don’t know any better, we best let them do as they wish, poor things.”
My conspiracy brain says this is by design to keep us divided and never united to overthrow the idiots in charge. My other brain – the one that doesn’t think I should throw the Alexa device in the river – thinks our lawmakers are incompetent, low-quality batty-bandits with zero backbone. Both brains are correct to a degree, but it doesn’t matter why: something just needs to be done.
Right now the middle classes – the ones who historically lead the charge for violent uprisings – have had enough of this crap. They shouldn’t care about intentions when intentions are silly. They will vote for Farage. He will win. They will then see he’s too wishy-washy. Then the streets will burn and a figure who makes Tommy Robinson look like Gary Linekar will emerge, and then we’re really fucked – two-tier policing will evolve into something even nastier.
The hardline is popular in other countries: ‘respect our culture and abide by our rules or fuck off’ is perfectly acceptable in many countries I have lived in and visited – they look at us like we’re the nutters.
I like that we’re welcoming, but not that we’ve turned into incredibly naïve mugs. That’s not the wave.
If I had my way, we’d become honest anarchists. We would admit that hard segregation is a good idea: there have been areas you just shouldn’t go to for hundreds of years in this nation, so just build a big wall around them and quit the embarrassing denial. It’s not nice, but it makes sense. If you want cousin kissing to be left alone because one community is well into it, then let them do it away from those who find it icky. You do you, I’ll do me. But don’t go around thinking one rule them and another for us creates a harmonious society when one side doesn’t get it or it doesn’t make sense.